Each week, open your inbox to an email with subjects such as “How to deal with toxic employees” and “How to deal with energy-sucking colleagues.” Each of them makes me irritated – not because the problem is not real, but because language alone reveals the bigger problem.
Only 40% of leaders who reported having high quality leadership in their organization in 2023 have seen a sharp decline of 17% over the past two years, the biggest decline in 10 years. At the same time, employees increasingly view HR as a function that serves the company's interests rather than their own. Together, these trends draw troublesome pictures. The workplace has lost trust, and both HR and leadership are taking the brunt of responsibility.
When leaders focus on “toxic employees,” they often look for someone to hold them accountable. What I've learned over the years is that most workplace dysfunctions are not related to individual employees. It is a broken system, unknown expectations of trust, or environment. And these problems cannot be solved by HR alone.
HR experts are thin and caught between supporting people and managing ever-present compliance risks. Meanwhile, employees feel abandoned, and HR believes they exist to protect the company rather than defend it. This dynamic creates a vicious cycle. Leaders accuse HR of uselessness, employees lose faith in HR and nothing meaningful is corrected.
But there's no need to do this. Leaders who build collaborations with HRs and managers can create workplaces where trust, accountability and innovation flourish, not as enforcers but as partners.
The Real Issues of HR: A Culture of Responsibility
Over the years I've noticed some nasty patterns. Leaders often rely on HR to make difficult calls, but they simply blame HR when things don't go as planned.
“HR won't let me do this,” “HR has terminated that employee,” or “HR's policy is getting in the way.” In reality, many of these complaints stem from leaders who give up responsibility for their decisions. Rather than stepping up to deal with the challenge directly, they lean on HR to become enforcers and resend to HR for it.
HR experts are keen to this pressure. Many people want to be strategic partners, helping their leaders and teams succeed. Instead, they often become “bad cops” and manage risks and implement policies without the support they need to focus on people and culture.
This culture of condemnation erodes trust on the whole. Employees believe HR is not in contact. HR feels stuck in a reactive role. And leaders who are frustrated by both have lost their view of their accountability.
Why “toxic employees” are not the real problem
Whenever a leader asks me how to deal with “toxic employees,” I always ask them to pause and reflect. Have you thought about what drives that action? Do you create an environment where people feel supported, heard and empowered to do their best?
In my experience, what we call “toxic” behavior is actually a more serious problem symptom. Perhaps the employees have not received feedback or training. Maybe they're meeting or feeling underestimated by unclear expectations. Or maybe they are simply struggling with roles that don't suit their strengths.
The ideas of toxic employees are widespread. The American Psychological Association has found that 19% of workers describe their workplace as toxic. Even more impressive, employees in these environments are more than three times more likely to cause mental health harm than healthier workplaces.
This data checks what I see frequently. What is perceived as “toxic” behaviors usually reflect a toxic environment rather than a toxic person. Labeling someone as “toxic” may seem like the easiest solution, but it rarely addresses the root cause. Instead, perpetuate the responsibility cycle that keeps teams stuck. True leadership means staying curious, asking tough questions and committing to fixing the system.
Leaders as Partners: Building collaborations with HR and managers
The good news is that leaders have the power to break this cycle. By fostering stronger collaboration with HR and managers, leaders can create approaches tailored to people's strategies. Here are some strategies I saw work:
1. Rebuild HR trust.
Too many leaders see HR as a barrier instead of resources. If you've ever thought the HR team is making your life difficult, check out the way you think. Have a real conversation. Ask me a question. Know their perspective. At its best, HR is a partner that helps you navigate tough decisions and think strategically about your team's needs. However, trust begins with leaders taking initiatives to build these relationships.
2. Empower your manager as a leader.
Managers are the front line of defense when it comes to workplace culture. However, they are often not prepared to effectively handle the challenges. Leaders need to invest in manager training and development not only in processes but also in emotional intelligence, communication and conflict resolution.
For example, at the large trucking and logistics companies I work with, HR serves as manager coach and advisor. When a manager faces tough decisions, such as whether or not to let go of an employee, HR will not take over. Instead, they encourage deeper conversations: what is the root cause of the problem? What is the best outcome for all involved? Ultimately, the manager owns the decision and the HR provides guidance along the way. This approach not only builds the confidence of managers, but also strengthens accountability.
3. Disassemble the silo.
Leaders, managers, and HRs often work in silos, leading to misalignment of goals and conflicting priorities. To fix this, we recommend creating sensual collaboration opportunities. Invite HRs to spend time in other departments and encourage leaders to share their challenges openly. Encourage your team to learn more about the role of HR. The more connected these groups are, the more positively aligned people's strategies will be.
A new way of thinking for leadership
If you want to restore trust in your organization, start by looking inward. Ask yourself: Do I assume the worst case scenario with HR? Am I responsible for the culture of my team or am I looking for someone to be responsible?
Leadership is not about having all the answers. It's about piquesing curiosity, building connections and promoting an environment where everyone feels like they're supporting them to do their best. When leaders, HRs, and managers work together as partners, the possibilities are endless.
Their complaints about HR may be real, but they are not the end of the story. Stepping up as a leader will help you create a workplace where trust and collaboration will flourish.
